E.U.P.H.O.R.I.A

I want us to sit together in a field of dry grass in a comfortable in awkward silence, focusing on pure emotion and intoxicating sensuality. I'd like for us to stand back in the dark, in dark garments, blending in with the night, Invisible. Watching strangers when they think that no one is watching.

Every so often I will become infatuated with someone. I am not sure if that is the word I am looking for. The object/s of my infatuation can be anyone from characters in books to people on-line who I have never met face to face before; people who I never (or rarely) see in physical form, just through the beauty of their words and energy. Their gender is irrelevant to me. There are very few things that can compare to that euphoric enchantment of discovering someone or something that I can admire.

I want to wash your hair with strawberry scented shampoo and watch it wind dry on a cool, breezy day under  white sky; petting each others soft hair and looking into each others eyes. I want to walk hand in hand under the starlit night, whispering sweet nothing. Melancholia, joy,euphoria all combined. The sadness we've felt, the loneliness, cruelty & and the sense of separateness that has been a part of our experiences is no longer forced to the back of our minds. The aesthetics of it romanticize it for us so it is more acceptable and rather than it being a burden it is an art form.And it is something that attracts me to you: Your ability to make those type of emotions have an enchanting, peaceful almost euphoric feeling attached to them. It makes life very joyful. 
Who would have thought that what's considered the 'darker' emotions could make a person feel such bliss?

Her Last sleep

It came to me like a black dreadful night
and took you away from me into  some unknown wilderness.
Just then the dance of the dawn was about to begin
Now I am alone, wandering in desolate wilderness.

 How frail were our vows, taken by us together
holding hands in our adolescent faith
and promising ourself eternal togetherness
 In life
In death!!!

That moment the way you looked at me
I somehow knew there was 'farewell in you'r eyes'

I had silently touched your forehead
 removed softly,the wayward, obstinate strands of hair falling on you'r face as usual
and had pulled myself aside
 with a silent cry inside.

 I knew those were the last moments
 of you'r valiant struggle.
I also knew having fought to the last
wounded ,your weapons had parted company.

I was helpless on all account
 I could'nt sahrpen your weapons
or give you new ones
For your fight is with death!!!
I watched silently your going away.
Frozen in my total helplessness

NO YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT
 IT IS I WHO BEAR THE SIN OF BETRAYAL
 FOR I AM STILL ALIVE
EVEN WHEN YOU ARE GONE.

This is it

This is it. Everytime I exclaimed.
My heart is lost at the wild goose chase.

To search the image in reflection is like
To chase the reflection in the object.

Pointless.

Tossed and turned 
Mauled and hauled
Mocked and shocked

Oh!  This wicked hope of mine.
This is it.....
My core echoes....

Is it so? 

( echoes of fading laughter in the background)

Two worlds

I live in two worlds at once
Two distinct spheres, aligned forever
Like the heart and the mind.
Just a feet or universe apart

In one, life is everything 
And death,  nothing.

In the other,

Life is nothing 
In death, emerges everything. 

Oscillating between activity and stillness
How to I transcend this illness.

Into active stillness.

I and I

Here you are
You are, I know
And................
Here I am
Who you know very well
Again we dwell in form together
And.................
I am beginning to remember
That................
You and I not two seperate entities.
We have been together,
Since the beginning of time.
In the known
In the unknown
In the manifest
In the un-manifest
You and I dance forever
In love, the spiral star dance
of Shiva and Shakthi.

A wave on the ocean

A wave on the ocean
Has a beginning and an end
A birth & a death

But the wave is empty, full of water
and empty of a separate self.

As a wave, from wind and water
I saw my birth , my death
fear filled my heart

Then in the stillness
I saw myself as the water
the waves are born and gone
The the water is free from death.

Princess - Part 2

She has entered my life
In the land of Mountains

But before you entered my life
I have been in you
You, in me.

There has not been a moment
When we are not Inter-been
Therefore you know.........

As long as you continue to breathe
I continue to be in you