E.U.P.H.O.R.I.A

I want us to sit together in a field of dry grass in a comfortable in awkward silence, focusing on pure emotion and intoxicating sensuality. I'd like for us to stand back in the dark, in dark garments, blending in with the night, Invisible. Watching strangers when they think that no one is watching.

Every so often I will become infatuated with someone. I am not sure if that is the word I am looking for. The object/s of my infatuation can be anyone from characters in books to people on-line who I have never met face to face before; people who I never (or rarely) see in physical form, just through the beauty of their words and energy. Their gender is irrelevant to me. There are very few things that can compare to that euphoric enchantment of discovering someone or something that I can admire.

I want to wash your hair with strawberry scented shampoo and watch it wind dry on a cool, breezy day under  white sky; petting each others soft hair and looking into each others eyes. I want to walk hand in hand under the starlit night, whispering sweet nothing. Melancholia, joy,euphoria all combined. The sadness we've felt, the loneliness, cruelty & and the sense of separateness that has been a part of our experiences is no longer forced to the back of our minds. The aesthetics of it romanticize it for us so it is more acceptable and rather than it being a burden it is an art form.And it is something that attracts me to you: Your ability to make those type of emotions have an enchanting, peaceful almost euphoric feeling attached to them. It makes life very joyful. 
Who would have thought that what's considered the 'darker' emotions could make a person feel such bliss?

Her Last sleep

It came to me like a black dreadful night
and took you away from me into  some unknown wilderness.
Just then the dance of the dawn was about to begin
Now I am alone, wandering in desolate wilderness.

 How frail were our vows, taken by us together
holding hands in our adolescent faith
and promising ourself eternal togetherness
 In life
In death!!!

That moment the way you looked at me
I somehow knew there was 'farewell in you'r eyes'

I had silently touched your forehead
 removed softly,the wayward, obstinate strands of hair falling on you'r face as usual
and had pulled myself aside
 with a silent cry inside.

 I knew those were the last moments
 of you'r valiant struggle.
I also knew having fought to the last
wounded ,your weapons had parted company.

I was helpless on all account
 I could'nt sahrpen your weapons
or give you new ones
For your fight is with death!!!
I watched silently your going away.
Frozen in my total helplessness

NO YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT
 IT IS I WHO BEAR THE SIN OF BETRAYAL
 FOR I AM STILL ALIVE
EVEN WHEN YOU ARE GONE.

This is it

This is it. Everytime I exclaimed.
My heart is lost at the wild goose chase.

To search the image in reflection is like
To chase the reflection in the object.

Pointless.

Tossed and turned 
Mauled and hauled
Mocked and shocked

Oh!  This wicked hope of mine.
This is it.....
My core echoes....

Is it so? 

( echoes of fading laughter in the background)

Two worlds

I live in two worlds at once
Two distinct spheres, aligned forever
Like the heart and the mind.
Just a feet or universe apart

In one, life is everything 
And death,  nothing.

In the other,

Life is nothing 
In death, emerges everything. 

Oscillating between activity and stillness
How to I transcend this illness.

Into active stillness.

I and I

Here you are
You are, I know
And................
Here I am
Who you know very well
Again we dwell in form together
And.................
I am beginning to remember
That................
You and I not two seperate entities.
We have been together,
Since the beginning of time.
In the known
In the unknown
In the manifest
In the un-manifest
You and I dance forever
In love, the spiral star dance
of Shiva and Shakthi.

A wave on the ocean

A wave on the ocean
Has a beginning and an end
A birth & a death

But the wave is empty, full of water
and empty of a separate self.

As a wave, from wind and water
I saw my birth , my death
fear filled my heart

Then in the stillness
I saw myself as the water
the waves are born and gone
The the water is free from death.

Princess - Part 2

She has entered my life
In the land of Mountains

But before you entered my life
I have been in you
You, in me.

There has not been a moment
When we are not Inter-been
Therefore you know.........

As long as you continue to breathe
I continue to be in you

Pendulum

Look up expectantly at the sky But the dust cloud deceive me

My eyes are bitten by the sodium light. Welcome to the chaotic civilization !

Remember the old prophecy...

Roads are made to be traveled, I am here to fulfill it 

And I lick the Earth..

My life like traffic , meticulously unplanned

I move up and down to fight the void

ends to a mean, means to an end 

oscillatory life style 

from dark to light and light to dark

S.I.L.E.N.C.E

My mode of worship is silence
Its the language of the heart.
Nothing to say
Nothing to be heard

There are many languages,
Only one - S.I.L.E.N.C.E.
The only one worth listening to

"Things that are real are given and received in silence"
I abide in silence
Aware & and still
I move in reflection
Crystal clear
Share through writing
heart to heart
I dwell in the Heart
As L.O.V.E , Ever unifying .

Life- An Experiment !!!

This life is an experiment, to break away from the compulsions in me,to act out of awareness than herd conformity to the current ways of life. To go against mother natures trick of wanting to reproduce and duplicate.

I seek completion in my self , in silence, reflecting and in utter stillness.

I owe this to myself.

IiIan

Oh what a trick, what an endless game This game of life and death Of day and night Of love and hate And good and bad Set to in eternal motion wandering ceaselessly in the maze no 5 Complicated by senses 5 in this in5nite moment Let me me do all that i want to Then i will be still As stillness can be. And silence my dear is a sure sign of death.

IF

♥ .... What else matters.. She's not perfect! Youaren't either and the two of you may never beperfect together, but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice and admit to being human and make mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you... can. She may not thinking about you every second of the day but she will give you, a part of her that knows you can break her heart, so don't hurt her, don't change her , don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad and miss her when she's not there .... ♥

Endless thoughts

Sometimes I with I, lived alone
and no one came by
It would be nice to breathe alone
All thoughts in solitude
and then it seems
being alone
Is like being in a crowd

An Ode to Life's Melodrama

An ODE to Relative Sadness*****
"Einstein's eyes were filled with tear when he heard about Hiroshima, Mr.Tamihi had no eyes left to show his grief.

An ODE to Madness*****
I love you like a man loves an old wound picked up in a razor fight on a street nobody remembers, look at him even in the dark he touches it gently

An ODE to Comedy*****
There was an old man with a bear who said "Its just as I feared!" Two owls & a hen four larks & a wren have all build their nest in my beard

An ODE to Irony*****
Away from you I feel a great emptinessa gnawing lonliness,with you I get that reassuring feeling of wanting to escape.

An ODE to Skeletonial poem*****
Someone can gaze & not be sick but I could never learn the trick there is this to say for blood & breath,they give a man a taste for death.

An ODE to Reality*****
I've got to give it up books, cheks, letters, file, cabinet, apartment, pillows, bodies & skin, even the ache in my teeth.

T.R.A.N.Q.U.I.L.I.T.Y

Stillness of the dawn
The glide of a swan

Thin mist on a lake
Lone drifting snow flake

Wagging tail
Slow Moving snail

Snow-white milk
Rich flowing silk

Orchids in bloom
Stillness of the tomb

The clear blue sky
A gently closed eye

Peace in Mother Teresa’s face
Solace from faith in Almighty’s grace

Snow covered peak
Sleep, restful and deep

Frozen candle flame
Mona Lisa in the frame

Cooing of the doves
Cumulus clouds

Freedom from stress
White wedding dress

Blooming red rose
Monotonous prose

A slow flowing brook
The forgiving look

Absolute calm
Natures soothing balm

Moonbeam dancing on a forest floor
Promise of paradise ever more

Paradoxx!

In order to contract a thing, one should surely expand it first.
In order to weaken, one will surely strengthen first.
In order to overthrow, one will surely exalt first.
"In order to take, one will surely give first."
This is called subtle wisdom.

Be bent, and you will remain straight.
Be vacant, and you will remain full.
Be worn, and you will remain new.

Little about my History Teacher

“Her eyes were the color of coffee gone cold...
...You could see the melancholy even when she smiled.”

THE THINGS I LOVE:

Oil rainbows on the road
Cool wind on my hair
Long drives
Long winding roads
Razor sharp Sierras
The feeling after a good work out
Laughing till my sides hurt
A good Repartee
Fountain Pens
Handwriting on unlined paper
Good songs getting stuck in my head
Little kids
Buddhist Chants
Hand written Mails
Poetry
Full/Crescent Moon
Paradoxes
Sunrise n sunset
The twilight zone
Hearing things said under one's breath that no one's supposed to hear
Golden retrievers
Pictures in black and white
Victorian Architecture
Greater Silence
Understanding
The knowing smile
Vast Deserts
Company of Good books
Vintage wines
Smiling at strangers
Smiling Strangers
Family
Pets
Hugs
Cuddling
Dropping hints
Getting dropped hints
Shades of Nature

Common Denominator?

What is common in the following words?

Intuition
Inspiration
Intelligence
Innate
Instinct
Insight
Inner

My Arrow

I am afraid ;
my tears will give me away.
and my untold secret will be known all over the world.
They say the stone turns to Ruby with patience
It sure does,
But not before my heart bleeds.
To become one with that ultimate beloved,
many heads turn into dust...

I have send my arrows of prayer from every possible corner.
May one of them reach the target of LOVE