Dark Side!

If it does not have a dark side, MAKE ONE!!!
Just so as to enjoy yourself looking at it.

Wanderer

Here I am
A wanderer
Roaming through many lives
From birth to death
and from death to birth
Transmigrating
Gripped by the the "five senses"
Lost in the world of "five elements"
Chasing lucid dreams
subtle and gross!

Wanderer

Here I am, A wanderer
Roaming through many lives.
From birth to death
and death to birth.
Transmigrating,
Gripped by the pull of "senses five"
Lost in the maze of "elements five"
Oscillating between the profound & profane
Chasing lucid dreams,subtle and gross!
Its been going on, It is still is
Oh Shambo, when will I put an end to the endless game?
And merge with you again.

Just another bloody day among days !!!

Question :How was your day?

Answer:If you have traveled in nausea inducing hills in a bus with hard seats for 12 hrs at a go, you might perhaps share my situation right now. Or may be you haven’t; in that case let me paint a picture. It is like incessant Big Wheel. You are squeamish because there are trees rushing by, mountains lumbering into the view and as soon as you attempt to focus through your half opened eyes, they slide away. You close your eyes, fighting off intense desire to disgorge the last meal and feel the tangential flight to the last sadistic curve the bus just described. It stops after eternity and then there is perfect silence shattered by someone retching violently, a child crying, having been jolted into wakefulness from slumber induced by perpetual motion and mother cooing softly. You are detached, numb, staring blankly at whatever comes to your field of vision.

My day was something like that!!!!!

Talk to consultants with super inflated ego. There is one, the first one to clone Hepatitis E virus in world; another, a walking encyclopedia so full of knowledge that he gets confused because his mind is full of possible possibilities; someone who walks around with his nose up in the stratosphere and yet another with nothing but intransigent irritating behavior and they throw odious looks at me. I have missed my breakfast, my head is spinning and I have to rush for a conference. I don't know the scope of the meeting. The useless invertebrate of an encyclopedia is no consolation. I take the crap, act like a experienced manager and spew the facts at the members, telling them what they did, where they fucked up and what they need to know. The conference is a success.

There are scores of things to be done. I rush back to make last minute checks. Heavens save me, should I end up making any mistake." My royal posterior will become private property of higher ups should I screw up". I think about the scheduled set to check my mails, try to recall the minutes of the meeting and I shake my head at the futility of even trying to recall the damn nocturnal event. My mind is blank but I know there was something that I had felt, something that is getting lost in this inexorable ring of dog-eat-dog blood orgy.

I take refuge in the far corner of department, trying to contain myself but there is no escape. My cell rings. Aaaaaaargh.

The Devils song!

O wild world! circling through aeons untold
Mid fires of sunrise and sunset,
through flashes of silver and gold,
Grain of dust in a storm,
Atom of sand by the sea,
What is your worth, O world
To the angels of God & me.

He sang this quite suddenly, his rich baritone pealing
out musically on the warm silent air. I listened entranced.
His dark eyes flashed and he sang on...

O wild world! mote in a burning ray
Flung from the spherical Heavens
Millions of years away
Sink in ether or soar!
Live with the planets or die!
What should I care for your fate,
Who am one with the infinite sky.

Lessons from Mr.Roach

On a lone, lonely, cold winter night,I was perambulating through the dirty streets of Shivajinagar, Bangalore. My mind, in the usual process of striving hard to be quiet. I happened to see a huge bandicoot, our eyes were locked for a second and we communicated without talking.

With a hedonistic stride of belonging to the “more evolved species” or knowing the fact that I would not have much in common with a nibbler, I decided to walk away, leaving him scurrying around.

While taking my next step over the cracked pavement, I was about to step on a cockroach, rage filled me without any reason, might be the same type that Hitler experienced with the Jews, like the misinterpretation of jihad.

I dint step for it screamed at me !!!!!

“ You son of yesterday, dare not place thy stinking sole on me
For I have been here for a long time, much more than you can imagine & I continue to be around, no matter if you decide to split an nuke”

I thought with a blank mind, said no more, thought no more, heard no more………………………………..Just walked into the darkness with the cold wind rustling the leaves on a cold winter night.

A Poem to Myself !!!

All I want is a window into your life
A way to see you
To see how you think
To see how you act
To see how you look at me
A way to see you

That is all I want
A way to see you

I'm not asking for a lot
Just a small peek
A small crack
A keyhole
A window
A door !!!

What ever you will let me see
Because the reality is I don't know you
But I want to know you
Because I am you.

Ray-The eternal wanderer

Let us take you on a journey.......

All of us here are gathered in a meadow at the base of a mountain. We are home and we are all playing together in perfect love. A dear brother approaches and says, "Would anyone here like to play a new Game?"

"What kind of Game?" You ask. "Is it like the ones we play now?"

"No," he replies. "It is like nothing we have ever done before. It will be an elaborate Game with many props and disguises. We will wear veils so that we can no longer see or re-member our true nature, even the veil will be hidden from view. Then we will start the Game and begin to remember.

This veil will be so effective that you will forget not only who you are; you will even forget home. Even as we pass each other on our paths, we will look into each other's eyes and not recognize one another. The veil will be so effective that many will look around at the props and disguises and truly believe that is all there is. You will retain all of your powers, yet you will not remember how to use them or that they are even there.

"The Game will be played in phases and before we start each phase of the Game we may place as many reminders in our path as we wish, to help us re-member. Be advised to place many reminders, for most of you will rationalize them away easily. We will choose the time and place of our entrances and exits on the Game board. We will also set up circumstances and lessons we wish to complete while we are under the veil. A tally will be kept and points will accumulate from one phase to the next. This point system will only be used by you to determine what will be included in your next phase. You will not be able to remember from one phase to the next, yet, once mastered,certain attributes may be carried forward into the next phase. You will always carry your core essence and personality, yet you will not re-member that it passes with you through the veil into every phase.

"Humor will always be a reminder that passes unchecked through the veil, and if we find you getting too serious we will tickle your funny bone as a reminder that this is only a Game. There will also be many masters available along the way to help us if we wander too far from the path.

Oh yes, I almost forgot an important part of the Game... at all times there will be Free Choice. You have complete choice in all matters; you may even choose not to play the Game, or to call in a substitute.You may choose to hide, or you may choose to seek, it is entirely up to you.

"On the Game board there will be polarity. This has to do with the mechanics of the Game board itself, and will be a necessary component as it provides the contrast needed.
However,polarity will taint your vision. Through eyes tainted with polarity, you perceive things as Up or Down,Light or Dark, Good or Bad, Love or Fear and Right or Wrong. Do not let this fool you, it is only illusion.

"We will all leave our higher aspects of ourselves in a special place for the duration of the Game; otherwise the Game would be much too easy. Your higher self will be available to you at all times. Your challenge will be to learn to access it, and to re-member that it exists as part of yourself. You may choose special loved ones to ride on your shoulder to advise you during the Game. Again, remembering that they even exist will be a big part of the Game itself.

"The goal of the Game will be to see how many can re-member who they are, where they are from, and what powers of creation they have. Once you re-member, then you may re-merge with your higher self and re-create home on the other side of the veil to demonstrate that you have fully re-membered.

"So who wants to play?"

The implications of this - should you choose to accept this visionary paradigm - are profound. If we have never really separated from God / Universe / the energy of all that is; if we are the dreamer, it is we who can make the dream a happy one; and it is we who can stop dreaming altogether and wake up whenever we want (this is oftentimes associated with raising our consciousness and level of self-awareness, which can be done numerous ways


Regards,
Playmate in search of his true nature!

My SPRIT, SOUL and my STRENGTH

Everything within myself has become more calm. I am not sure as to how, but I know as I sleep I travel far from where I lay. I know that my spirit has broken free of pain I have had inside me for so long. And for so long it has poisoned me. My life has been an experiment, and although that experiment has failed, I am rebirthing myself. For so long I have been able to respect myself, but never truly loving myself. I looked to others to see what there is to love of me. To try to see what I deserved of love from another. Though I cast my own downfall in relying on others for such a thing, I have come to realize that the love I need more in my life, is love for myself. I grew up watching, and learning. I became impassioned by ideals, and in life I found the only way I could truly see them is to live by them. Through this I came to respect myself. I respected myself by the strength I kept in honoring old, and sacred ideals. I has taken me far too long to understand, that I should love myself for them as well. That I need not seek love in someone else, merely share it with someone. There is no greater gift you can give, then to help someone to truly smile with their heart, and I almost forgot my own hearts worth through all that has come to pass. It is time that I return to the path I set out on so long ago, and to do this I need my heart. I have come to know my own capabilities with my heart. Though love may fail, as long as I love myself, and do not faulter to my ways, I shall not fall away from my own spirit. It has taken me a considerable amount of time to awaken further, and to realize that what I have put so much faith into, can not always comes to ones wishes, when it is not of their own being. I have come to know the darkness, and it has come to know the light, and I am not influenced by either, but it is my own choice to make. Beyond this waking, I have come to know, in this life, or another, that the love I create within, will find its way to the one who needs it. Though not all paths may cross, mine is for a purpose, and another shall cross my spirit to shine brighter in the darkness.

Ray- "My search has ended in one level"

E.U.P.H.O.R.I.A

I want us to sit together in a field of dry grass in a comfortable in awkward silence, focusing on pure emotion and intoxicating sensuality. I'd like for us to stand back in the dark, in dark garments, blending in with the night, Invisible. Watching strangers when they think that no one is watching.

Every so often I will become infatuated with someone. I am not sure if that is the word I am looking for. The object/s of my infatuation can be anyone from characters in books to people online who I have never met face to face before; people who I never (or rarely) see in physical form, just through the beauty of their words. Their gender is irrelevant to me. There are very few things that can compare to that euphoric enchantment of discovering someone or something that I can admire. For years I have thought that it would be nice to have someone to pretend things with; to look at the world around us and see familiar things as something magical. It used to be easier to pretend. I was thinking maybe, as an adult, its easier to become swept away by make-believe when it involves two (or more) adult minds. The imaginative powers combine powerfully and it doesn't seem at all like an adult trying to recapture something lost.

I want to wash your hair with strawberry scented shampoo and watch it wind dry on a cool, breezy gray day under a white sky; petting each others soft hair and looking into each others eyes. Meloncholia,joy,euphoria all combined. The sadness we�ve felt, the loneliness, cruelty & depression that has been a part of our experiences is no longer forced to the back of our minds. The aesthetics of it romanticize it for us so it is more acceptable and rather than it being a burden it is an art form.And it is something that attracts me to you: Your ability to make those type of emotions have an enchanting, peaceful almost euphoric feeling attached to them. It makes me feel very joyful. Who would have thought that what's considered the 'darker' emotions could make a person feel such bliss?

Ray Wanderer

"I know where I am going & I am going"

Purpose of Life?

Thousand times at the least, I have toyed with the question as to Who am I? I am not the body, for it has to go away one day. I am not the mind, for its to do with my unique pattern of thinking and habbits & it seems like the societie's garbage can. Am I the consciousness? the is'ness, the thing beyond the relams of expression by any language. Second question, Why am I here? What is the purpose? I look at my life, the way it has been,sometimes I look at the whole century, I even go one thousand years in the reverse direction. I have no clear cut answers.The fog remains.... I really wish I could percieve my birth vision & the world vision. Thats why I call myself a wanderer in search of self who believes that things are getting better in the world admist all the noise and confusion.

Ray Wanderer

"In search of self"

What is fear on a personal level?

What is fear on a personal level?

This is fairly simple. Not meaning here to give you the impression that your whole life is simple, but understand here that the process of living, the process of enjoying life is your ability to accept it. The more restrictions you place upon yourself regardless of your physical or mental disabilities, the more you express doubt, incapacity, inability and something less than of an achievement for what it is that you are.

By that of your own spiritual DNA you have created yourself, you have created your format, you have created your environment. You have placed into it soldiers, you have placed into it priests and priestesses, lovers, brothers, sisters, etc. that you co-habitate with and in those game playing it could develop into war as this earth plane shows it most frequently. Because of it's intensity of mistrust you build walls about yourself for protection, you build ramparts to shoot from should you be antagonized, but in fact you are only shooting at yourself, and so in simple terms what is FEAR?
You are just not willing to accept yourself in your most infinite power. You play upon yourself to be less than you really are and that image of being less makes you afraid because that is not really you. Yes

Views on Marriage!

We all learn from life, I too have some from my own experience , some from others.


Marriage is not an animalistic primordial urge...it is a union between 2 souls (regardless of any other attributes) that is supposed to be a spiritual bond,a promise, an oath that will help both rise above the lower chambers of INCOMPLETE singularity.

Only after our crossing to the other side shall our soul rejoice on its own with out the need for our mirror only then white-robed purity will unite in one person masculine (NOT MALE) and feminine (NOT FEMALE)

wisdom, love, spiritual understanding and perpetual peace.

Ray
"Wandering the inner spaces"