I want us to sit together in a field of dry grass in a comfortable in awkward silence, focusing on pure emotion and intoxicating sensuality. I'd like for us to stand back in the dark, in dark garments, blending in with the night, Invisible. Watching strangers when they think that no one is watching.
Every so often I will become infatuated with someone. I am not sure if that is the word I am looking for. The object/s of my infatuation can be anyone from characters in books to people online who I have never met face to face before; people who I never (or rarely) see in physical form, just through the beauty of their words. Their gender is irrelevant to me. There are very few things that can compare to that euphoric enchantment of discovering someone or something that I can admire. For years I have thought that it would be nice to have someone to pretend things with; to look at the world around us and see familiar things as something magical. It used to be easier to pretend. I was thinking maybe, as an adult, its easier to become swept away by make-believe when it involves two (or more) adult minds. The imaginative powers combine powerfully and it doesn't seem at all like an adult trying to recapture something lost.
I want to wash your hair with strawberry scented shampoo and watch it wind dry on a cool, breezy gray day under a white sky; petting each others soft hair and looking into each others eyes. Meloncholia,joy,euphoria all combined. The sadness we�ve felt, the loneliness, cruelty & depression that has been a part of our experiences is no longer forced to the back of our minds. The aesthetics of it romanticize it for us so it is more acceptable and rather than it being a burden it is an art form.And it is something that attracts me to you: Your ability to make those type of emotions have an enchanting, peaceful almost euphoric feeling attached to them. It makes me feel very joyful. Who would have thought that what's considered the 'darker' emotions could make a person feel such bliss?
Ray Wanderer
"I know where I am going & I am going"
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